the Illusion shattered

Thank you all for your condolences regarding the loss of Tucker. I have been dealing with a lot of stuff lately and have been fighting not dealing with any of it. I guess the death of a loved one, being pregnant, having an unsupportive significant other, a crack head neighbor, a serious bouts of depression is a lot to deal with. I try to keep occupied by work but even that is not challenging enough for me.

One friend stated, " I get the feeling that you have some really mixed feelings about the baby coming which is totally normal and I am not going to pretend or try to tell you that is is all easy, because it's not."

Gee thanks, I knew it was not going to be easy but I never knew everything had to hit at once for me to make any progress. To suffer is to grow I guess.

I don't think I had any grand illusions about my life but I thought I would have a little more help but as I learned from a very young age, you only have yourself in order to survive.